Here's the winning lyrics of the song that won our 2004 TALENT CONTEST! Congratulations!
Since I Started Farscape
(or The Confessions of a Formerly Sane Housewife) 11/16/04 (Resvised)
(Sung to the tune of "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof)
Lyrics: Arlo Williams
SINCE I STARTED FARSCAPE
ALL DAY LONG I THINK OF ZAAHN AND LITTLE BLUE THE DRD
AERYN, CRICHTON, D'ARGO, RYGEL TOO
PILOT, AND THERE'S LITTLE CHI
ONCE IT SEEMED SO EASY
JUST A SCIFI SHOW I WATCHED FOR FUN ON SATTELITE TV
BUT I'M VICTIM OF AN EVIL PLAN
BECAUSE I HAVE BECOME A FARSCAPE FAN
I USED TO VISIT WITH FRIENDS AND TALK EVERY FRIDAY
MABYE GO TO DINNER AND A SHOW
THAT WAS BEFORE - MY LIFE'S NOW A TOTAL MESS
FRIDAY'S IT'S "TURN OFF THE PHONE" AND "DON'T TALK TO MOMMY"
"HON, IF YOU'LL BE QUIET WE'LL HAVE SEX"
AND SO MUCH MORE I SADLY MUST CONFESS
NOW IT'S AN OBSESSION
MUST HAVE POSTERS, MAGAZINES AND AUTOGRAPHS WHICH MAKE ME FLIP
T-SHIRTS, MUGS AND ACTION FIGURES TOO
THOUGH THEY DON'T HAVE KUNG-FU GRIP
GOTTA HAVE MY FARSCAPE
BOUGHT THE DVDS AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A DAMN MACHINE
MAGNETS, KEYCHAINS, ANYTHING I CAN
BECAUSE I HAVE BECOME A FARSCAPE FAN
I NEVER CARED FOR COMPUTERS, NEVER SENT AND E-MAIL
HAD MY CHILDREN SET THE VCR
I FILLED MY DAYS DISCUSSING THE NEWS AND ARTS
BUT NOW I'M POSTING ON THE BOARDS AND GOING TO CHATS
DETAILING EVERY LOOK AND SIGH THUS FAR
AND ALL THE FINER POINTS OF RYGEL'S FARTS
I USED TO BE SO VERY SHY AND RETIRING
RARELY SAID A WORD TO FOLKS I KNEW
THESE LIPS WERE SWEET AND PURE AS DRIVEN SNOW
BUT NOW IT'S FRELL AND YOTZ AND DON'T GIVE A DREN
AND BUTTON-HOLING STRANGERS I DON'T KNOW
EXHOTRING THEM TO WATCH ME FAVORITE SHOW. Friday nights at NINE! Damn it!
NOW I'M SUCH A FAN GIRL
WITH A WEBSITE AND MY FICTION'S STRICTLY NC-17
MAKING COSTUMES
AND WEAR THEM TOO
THOUGH IT ISN'T HALLOWEEN
AND I'M ALWAYS ANXIOUS
ON THAT ROLLER COASTER RIDE WITH CRICHTON HOPING TO SURVIVE
CURSE YOU WRITERS, YOU'RE EVIL TO A MAN
THE SEASON ENDS - NOW LOOK AT WHAT I AM
A NERVOUS WRECK IN NEED OF PERCODAN
SINCE, I'VE BECOME A FARSCAPE -- "has anyone got any valium?"-- FAN!
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